Why do I have to re-live my teen years?

One of the problems with parenting teenagers is that it brings you back to your own teen years...and I know very few people who would choose to re-live junior high or high school. Too much drama. Too many mistakes.

As many of my Facebook friends have pointed out, and I agree, I WOULD happily take back my body at 16.  But all of the other stuff...no thanks...not without the wisdom that I have now. Why is it that we don't develop the social skills and mental toughness to deal with junior high and high school issues until we are at least in our 30's?

I think the key thing that many teens are lacking is the ability to assert themselves. This one skill would really eliminate most teenage drama.  For example, a group of girls (or boys) who sit at lunch all year together all of a sudden start to exclude one of them from the conversations.  As an adult, I would say "Hey, what's the matter? Did I say or do something that offended you?" (Which in all probability I did) and they would tell me, I would apologize and/or explain myself and we would move on -- either as friends or I would find another lunch table.  But, the response of a typical teenager (at least my two teenagers and my one soon-to-be teenager) is to ignore it until it goes away. This results in days and maybe weeks of misery at lunch. AND it doesn't let you know what the problem is or was so that it can be fixed.

And relationships with boys? Ugh! I was a disaster in high school. I did well early on...my boyfriend in 8th grade was a gem. Nice, cute, great family...6 inches shorter than me, but a great guy (his sister is now my dentist). I have a hilarious picture of the two of us before our 8th grade dance...he is standing on the step and I am on the sidewalk...and I am still taller than him! Anyway, I digress. Things went downhill from there and by junior year I found myself in what I now know was an abusive relationship. He didn't beat me up or even hit me, but manipulation was his game and I was too stupid to see it. He isolated me from my friends and alienated me from my family. If I even said hello to another boy he would squeeze my hand (which he was always holding) until it hurt. To say my mother hated him would be an understatement.  And because she hated him, I went out with him for a year and a half. (I wonder where my kids get their stubbornness?) Now I see my daughter in relationships and I am so overprotective it is ridiculous! She has none of the above issues...if she did I would be completely freaking out. But teenage boys are not generally caring, giving individuals. It is tough to watch her in a relationship with the baggage that I carry around. Can I lock her in the house and not let her date until she is smart enough to recognize the losers? I wish!

And what am I going to do when the boys are dating? Am I going to hawk them to be sure that they don't become my ex?  Yikes! I've got a long road!

No one tells you when you are having babies that all that getting up in the middle of the night, changing diapers and colic...that is the easy part.  Teenagers...that's the hard part. And the saying that a mom can only be as happy as her least happy child...totally true...and you learn that only as your children grow and experience heartbreak and pain.

OK...since this has gotten a little serious I am going to lighten it up and give everyone a laugh by throwing myself under the bus and posting the picture of me and my then boyfriend before our 8th grade dance. Brooke insists. And since she has been the source of more than a few funny posts, it is only fair that I indulge her. So, here goes...

Makes me laugh everytime I look at it.  And Brooke says my dress looks like an apron.  But I will have you know that it is a Gunne Sax dress...very "in" back then.  LOL!!!  And those shoes are snappy, too. Ugh!!!

Brooke & Beth...I hope you are happy!!!