Was I mad at her...or at myself??

Either way, I was temporarily insane!

We had an exchange student from Barcelona, Spain stay with us for two weeks in April. Yes, April. April 2-16 to be exact. The end of tax season when everything is a crisis and has a deadline of yesterday. (I point this out in order to defend my insanity). Anyway, the day that Anna left we took some pictures. Some were timer shots of all six of us with Anna that were taken with Brooke's camera.

For two weeks I told Brooke to upload them to Facebook and share them with me and with Anna. These were the only pictures taken that had all of us. As usual, I got "I know, Mom." "I will, Mom." "I'll do it, Mom." -- all with attitude and sometime including eye rolling.

Fast forward to the Sunday before Brooke leaves for Disney World with her high school band. I said, "You need to upload those pictures BEFORE you leave for Disney." Her response was a predictable "I will, Mom."

So, Wednesday morning I drove her to the high school with her luggage at 6am. The buses were leaving at 11, but they needed to get their luggage to school early so that it could be checked. At about 7am it occured to me that I did not see those pictures post to my Facebook wall so I texted her to ask her if she had uploaded them. The answer was predictably "No."

I lost it. I texted her back that I would meet her in the parking lot when she was boarding the bus and that I would take her memory card and give her a blank one to bring to Disney. Well, this started World War III. She wanted no part of me coming up to the school and of being seen walking over to my car in front of her friends. The arguments started: I won't lose it, I'll be careful, I'll do it as soon as I get home, I will leave the card in my suitcase, Nothing will happen...

In reality, the chance of her camera getting lost or stolen or falling in the water and the pictures being lost forever was admittedly slim. But, dammit, I knew that if any of those things happened I was going to beat her senseless! And it was more than just the memory card. Wrapped up in this argument were all the things that had been annoying me about her...she didn't do what I asked, she didn't do what she said she would do, and, most importantly, she was so wrapped up in herself and what mattered to her that she did not understand that these pictures were important to more people than just her and she had a responsibility for safeguarding them.

In addition, I think I was completely annoyed with myself. The night before she asked me to take her to Target to get coloring books of all things, AND I DID IT!!!!! I didn't ask, "Did you do what I asked you to do?" Nope. I just took my 16 year old to buy Princess coloring books and a 64 pack of crayons (which she said she had NEVER had a 64 pack of crayons -- poor deprived child that she was). Because, like any mom, I want her to be happy and have her every hearts desire. GAG!!!!

But now! Now I was pissed! So, I drove up to the high school, parked in the parking lot with the coach buses, and sent her a text that said "Stop arguing with me. I am already here. Bring me the memory card!". I think I even said that I would follow the buses onto Route 287 before I would let her take that memory card to Florida. She finally surrendered and brought me the memory card. With a chill in the air, we swapped and she was on her way.

I texted a friend (also a parent of a teen girl) "The eagle has landed. I have the memory card. A small victory for our team!" And she responded, "Go team!!!".

It's these small battles in the world of parenting that seem so important at the time and are really so minor. But in reality, if we don't win the small ones, we don't have a prayer when it comes to the big ones.

Busy season is over!

Wow! Again, months have gone by without a blog update. It is really ashame that my life gets in the way of doing the things that I enjoy doing. Pesky job, laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, etc. But, February 1 - April 15 poses some extra challenges...and provides much in the way of blog material.

Tax season. I just finished by 22nd tax season at WithumSmith+Brown. Now, granted, they aren't what they used to be for me. In the years BK (before kids) I was working full-time on my way to becoming the first female partner (funny how life changes and what you thought you wanted seems laughable 16 years later). Mandatory hours during tax season were Mon., Wed. & Fri. 8:30am - 5:30pm (not bad), Tues. & Thurs. 8:30am - 11:00pm and a minimum of 5 hours on Saturday. It was brutal. It was ugly. It was exhausing. And, at times, it was fun.

Now, four kids later, I am still working for the same firm -- part time. Most of the year I work 12-15 hours a week. Once busy season starts I have agreed to ramp up to 20-24 hours a week. In reality, for most of March I worked 30-35 hours a week. Half as many hours a week as I used to work...and equally exhausting...maybe more so.

I realize many women work full time and raise their families, so I am NOT complaining. God bless them! The problem I have is that I have set my life up as a stay at home mom who works a few hours a week, which means I volunteer for 3 parent-teacher organizations (one of which I am President), I am the Treasurer for my church preschool and I am the go-to person to drive everyone everywhere. Adding 30-35 hours of work to that just doesn't work that well.

But I'm back. So hopefully blog posts will be coming more frequently. Oh! And I've discovered the joy of teenagers! So much material! Stay tuned!

Enabling

I've decided that I'm an enabler. I enable my kids to be less organized and less responsible than they should be and could be. I guess all moms do this to a certain extent because the idea of watching them fall on their face is difficult. And, let's face it, a major reflection on us.

Here are two examples, both from this morning.

At 6:30 this morning Brooke came into my room and told me that the 3rd payment for her Disney trip is due today. Seriously? She couldn't have mentioned this yesterday? Nope. So, instead of having her tell the band director that she forgot it and would bring it on Monday, I got out of bed and filled out the payment coupon and off she went.

Fast forward 35 minutes, Kevin has left for the bus and the phone rings. Surprise! It's Kevin. He left the school's flip video camera on the railing. Can I bring it to him at the bus stop! OK. Now I am in my bathrobe and slippers and it is snowing out. So, what do I do? I grab my jacket and keys and drive around the corner, in the snow, in my bathrobe and slippers to give him the camera. No motivation whatsoever for him to not make the same mistake again.

Or is there?

I'm thinking that there will be a list of chores for both of my forgetful friends when they get home from school. There has got to be a price to pay for them... and a reward for me.

Eeeewwwww!!!

Here is the text of the global connect phone call we got from the high school this afternoon:

Good Evening:
This is Dr. Michael Wanko, principal of Piscataway High School.

This week, we discovered a bedbug in the girls locker room of the West Patton Wing. We quickly closed the locker room and checked the entire area. There is one row of lockers in the girls locker room that is affected. A specially trained dog inspected all nearby facilities and there are no bugs in the offices or boys locker room.
Over the winter break, we will be deep cleaning the entire locker room facility. Tomorrow students who use the affected locker room area will be given a plastic bag to bring home their belongings. It is imperative that all items be brought home sealed, that they be washed in hot water, and dried on the highest heat setting possible. Students will receive these instructions in writing.
Students not using the affected locker room will bring their belongings home for laundering as they usually do over the winter break.
We appreciate your assistance in maintaining the high level of sanitation we are accustomed to in the Piscataway School District. If you have any questions, please contact the Athletic Office at x 2259 or the school nurse.
Thank you and have a good evening.

Have a good evening? Seriously?

Oh, and in case there was any doubt...there are 2 girls locker rooms at PHS. And Brooke uses...you guessed it... the one in the West Patton Wing.

I think we can go ahead and spend his college money

Well, I think we can go ahead and spend Daniel's college money.

He asked me today to guess what he wants to be when he grows up. After failing with the old standbys -- policeman, fireman, football player, doctor (yeah, right!) -- I told him I give up. He announced that he wants to be an invisible ninja!

I'm thinking that does not require a college degree. Maybe Eric and I can use the extra money for a bigger retirement home because I'm thinking it will be the three of us. How much money could an invisible ninja make? And what are the chances that any self-respecting woman is going to marry a guy who aspires to be an invisible ninja? Nope. The future does not look bright.

Seriously?

Here's how the conversation went.

Mark: Mom, I have two questions.

Me: (in a pleasant and not irritated tone -- I promise!) What?

Mark: Never mind. I heard anger in your voice.

I guess next time I need to reply with "Yes, dear?"

Jeez. Everyone is so sensitive around here!