Eric and I went to the PHS playoff football game on Friday night and Daniel decided at the last minute that he wanted to go. As we were walking to the ticket booth, Eric told Daniel that he was going to be 5 for tonght (I guess he thought that was a fair guess at a potential free kid age). So, he walks up to the booth and says, "Two adults and a 5 year old." And Daniel says, "I'm seven!" Dammit! Can he not keep his yap shut! To save face for Eric, me, being the kind, considerate wife that I am, said to Daniel, "Yeah! You wish!" LOL! Anyway, all that and there was no free child age anyway. He could have been 3 and they would have charged us. Oh, and the child price was only $2. Yup. An epic fail for us.
And just earlier in the day I had been looking at Brooke's text messages on her phone while she was upstairs and Daniel hollered, "Brooke! Mom's looking at your cell phone!" He's getting to be more trouble than he's worth. I mean, really! What's with this new honesty kick of his?? God knows he didn't learn that from his father!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
The uni-brow...as described by a seven year old
Daniel was talking to my mom yesterday and telling her about "A", the girl who now sits next to him in first grade. He told her that she has strange eyebrows. Mom asked him what was strange about them and he said, "Well, they start over here where mine do (pointing to the outer part of his own right eyebrow) and then go across but there is only a puny little space before the next one starts." Too funny! I laughed so hard. In the words of my sister-in-law..."Get that girl to a spa for an eyebrow waxing." Who knew that a 1st grade girl could have a uni-brow?? Poor thing.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
This kind of sums it up
OK. So, tonight I was on my way out of my house headed for my car when I noticed a man, who I had not seen before, walking across my lawn from my neighbor's in the direction of Kevin. I walked over and the guy said "Are you his mother?", nodding toward Kevin. Despite the fact that I had no idea what was coming, and I was reasonably certain that he wasn't going to praise me for the fine job I had done raising such a nice young man, I said "Yes, I am."
Well, it seems that there had been an altercation between Kevin and "E" from next door. This guy told me that he had seen it and that "E" had been the aggressor and was completely to blame, but that "E" had told him that Kevin had been saying bad things about his brother and mother all summer long.
I had a moment of panic, knowing that some not very kind things are said about our neighbors by me in our home that Kevin undoubtedly overhears. However, when I asked Kevin if he had ever said anything bad about "E"'s mother he replied with, "I don't even know which one is his mother!"
For anyone reading this who knows the situation at my neighbors (9 adults, 9 children with a combined 3 mothers and 6 fathers), this is pretty funny.
Well, it seems that there had been an altercation between Kevin and "E" from next door. This guy told me that he had seen it and that "E" had been the aggressor and was completely to blame, but that "E" had told him that Kevin had been saying bad things about his brother and mother all summer long.
I had a moment of panic, knowing that some not very kind things are said about our neighbors by me in our home that Kevin undoubtedly overhears. However, when I asked Kevin if he had ever said anything bad about "E"'s mother he replied with, "I don't even know which one is his mother!"
For anyone reading this who knows the situation at my neighbors (9 adults, 9 children with a combined 3 mothers and 6 fathers), this is pretty funny.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
It must be hereditary
So many of my stories are about my kids and their silly antics...and everyone knows that they have inherited their "blonde" from me. But, here is a story to show that it goes back at least one more generation.
My parents live in an over-55 community in Cranbury. Both are very active and have very busy lives. Recently Mom went to a craft fair with a friend. Dad did his own thing and was sitting in the family room watching TV when he heard the garage door open. He assumed Mom was home. Then the garage door went down. Then up again. Then down. Then up.
Meanwhile, IN THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR'S DRIVEWAY, Mom is sitting in her car wondering why the garage door opener isn't working. When she got out of the car to use the key pad and realized there was not a key pad the lightbulb went on and she looked around to see that she had pulled into the wrong driveway. Genious!
Her justification is that her neighbor's husband has a car very similar to my dad's that was parked in the driveway. Not a strong arguement in my opinion. Kind of makes me wonder if she should be driving at all!
My parents live in an over-55 community in Cranbury. Both are very active and have very busy lives. Recently Mom went to a craft fair with a friend. Dad did his own thing and was sitting in the family room watching TV when he heard the garage door open. He assumed Mom was home. Then the garage door went down. Then up again. Then down. Then up.
Meanwhile, IN THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR'S DRIVEWAY, Mom is sitting in her car wondering why the garage door opener isn't working. When she got out of the car to use the key pad and realized there was not a key pad the lightbulb went on and she looked around to see that she had pulled into the wrong driveway. Genious!
Her justification is that her neighbor's husband has a car very similar to my dad's that was parked in the driveway. Not a strong arguement in my opinion. Kind of makes me wonder if she should be driving at all!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Camping/canoeing 2009
OK. I am well aware that this post is 2 years late. And I am also painfully aware that just about everyone I know has heard this story. However, in the spirit of recording life's more amusing moments, I am going to tell this story YET AGAIN!!! I also need to follow up with my diary of this year's camping/canoe trip. And my sense of order does not allow me to tell the stories out of order. (Spoiler alert: Daniel and I bailed out on the canoeing part of this year's trip)
Anyway, I married into an "outdoorsy" family. The Ruoffs camp. Fletchers do not. Ruoffs also canoe. Fletchers do not. So, two years ago when Eric's brother was arranging a family camping/canoe trip I was a bit apprehensive. It would have been fine if Eric and I had only one or two kids and we could all go in one canoe with Eric at the helm. But, noooo, we went and had four children, which means that our family needs two canoes -- one with Eric and 2 kids and one with me and 2 kids.
So, after a 30 minute van ride down a dirt road, after which I was feeling more than a little motion sick, Eric puts me in a canoe with Mark and Daniel and pushes me out onto the river. Note that I say "river". This is not a lake with wide open space and little current. This is narrow, with logs and tree branches to challenge even the most experienced canoe-steerer. And have I mentioned that I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STEER A CANOE!!! So, off we go with me saying to Eric "You need to come right after us because I don't know what I'm doing." Well, seems that Donny Do Right didn't hear me and decided that he would help everyone else get into their canoes and onto the river...leaving me floating down the river alone. Needless to say, things didn't go well.
100 yards into the trip, a canoe in front of us tipped over, dumping its occupants into the water. Daniel freaked and cried for the next 30 minutes. He actually said "I want to go to a hotel" -- yup, that's my boy! I was really not able to calm his fear as we were going backwards, sideways and every which way down the river. When I realized that the S.O.B. was not coming, I grabbed a tree branch and held on for dear life. Meanwhile, the rest of his family members are maneuvering their canoes with grace past me. Every once and a while I would let go and try again, but every attempt seemed to bring a new challenge. A low hanging tree branch hitting Mark in the face, a log to steer around which always resulted in a sideways/backwards predicament, another canoe in trouble to get Daniel crying again. Things were not going well and I was pissed!
Eric finally caught up and boy did he hear it. I was actually asking complete strangers as they passed if they knew good divorce attorneys. He had to jump out of his canoe twice to help get me around logs. And did I mention that he had Brooke and Kevin...our two oldest children in HIS canoe. He was desperately trying to "right" the situation with instuctions "Paddle right, no left. Paddle backwards. No. On the right!" Really not that helpful.
After about an hour of this torture...and that hour seemed like days!!!...I said to Eric, "I think we need to pull over to that sandy area and re-group. None of the kids are even sunscreened." His response was "Oh, OK, well I sunscreened myself." Are you kidding me?!?! He actually sunscreened himself and none of our children AND was dumb enough to tell me! I suggested that next time he keep his mouth shut and re-apply.
We stopped, sunscreened, had lunch and recruited his niece to steer my canoe. Really, we can credit her with the fact that we are still married today. Thanks Lindsay!!
Anyway, I married into an "outdoorsy" family. The Ruoffs camp. Fletchers do not. Ruoffs also canoe. Fletchers do not. So, two years ago when Eric's brother was arranging a family camping/canoe trip I was a bit apprehensive. It would have been fine if Eric and I had only one or two kids and we could all go in one canoe with Eric at the helm. But, noooo, we went and had four children, which means that our family needs two canoes -- one with Eric and 2 kids and one with me and 2 kids.
So, after a 30 minute van ride down a dirt road, after which I was feeling more than a little motion sick, Eric puts me in a canoe with Mark and Daniel and pushes me out onto the river. Note that I say "river". This is not a lake with wide open space and little current. This is narrow, with logs and tree branches to challenge even the most experienced canoe-steerer. And have I mentioned that I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STEER A CANOE!!! So, off we go with me saying to Eric "You need to come right after us because I don't know what I'm doing." Well, seems that Donny Do Right didn't hear me and decided that he would help everyone else get into their canoes and onto the river...leaving me floating down the river alone. Needless to say, things didn't go well.
100 yards into the trip, a canoe in front of us tipped over, dumping its occupants into the water. Daniel freaked and cried for the next 30 minutes. He actually said "I want to go to a hotel" -- yup, that's my boy! I was really not able to calm his fear as we were going backwards, sideways and every which way down the river. When I realized that the S.O.B. was not coming, I grabbed a tree branch and held on for dear life. Meanwhile, the rest of his family members are maneuvering their canoes with grace past me. Every once and a while I would let go and try again, but every attempt seemed to bring a new challenge. A low hanging tree branch hitting Mark in the face, a log to steer around which always resulted in a sideways/backwards predicament, another canoe in trouble to get Daniel crying again. Things were not going well and I was pissed!
Eric finally caught up and boy did he hear it. I was actually asking complete strangers as they passed if they knew good divorce attorneys. He had to jump out of his canoe twice to help get me around logs. And did I mention that he had Brooke and Kevin...our two oldest children in HIS canoe. He was desperately trying to "right" the situation with instuctions "Paddle right, no left. Paddle backwards. No. On the right!" Really not that helpful.
After about an hour of this torture...and that hour seemed like days!!!...I said to Eric, "I think we need to pull over to that sandy area and re-group. None of the kids are even sunscreened." His response was "Oh, OK, well I sunscreened myself." Are you kidding me?!?! He actually sunscreened himself and none of our children AND was dumb enough to tell me! I suggested that next time he keep his mouth shut and re-apply.
We stopped, sunscreened, had lunch and recruited his niece to steer my canoe. Really, we can credit her with the fact that we are still married today. Thanks Lindsay!!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Ruoff quote of the day
Snapple fact on Brooke's iced tea cap: "The plastic things on the ends of shoelaces are called aglets."
Ruoff quote of the day: "Someone needs to tell Snapple that Phineas and Ferb have already covered that."
Ruoff quote of the day: "Someone needs to tell Snapple that Phineas and Ferb have already covered that."
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