Maybe DWTS isn't a family TV show

Daniel and Brooke were watching Dancing with the Stars last week and Cheryl and Rick were dancing and after the dance, Daniel said to Brooke "She needs to put some more clothes on. I can see her boob crack!" Sure do hope he doesn't repeat that in his Kindergarten class!

Early onset alzheimers?

Is it possible for a 6 year old to have Alzheimers? I kind of doubt it. But, assuming I'm correct, then it is entirely possible that Daniel is otherwise mentally impaired. :)

First, his teacher told me last week that he forgets his lunch every day. I told her I was sure he was bringing his lunch...I carry it myself and hand it to him at the door. She replied, "No, he forgets to bring it to lunch!". Are you kidding me! The teacher announces that it is time to go to lunch and he gets on line WITHOUT HIS LUNCH?!?

So, we have come up with a strategy. I am now packing his snack in his lunchbox. So, after snack he puts his lunchbox right into the lunch cart. Seems fool proof. We'll see.

And then, I listen to the following exchange between Daniel and Eric:

Eric: Daniel, would you like to go to the football game?

Long pause...engrossed in Wii: Lego Star Wars

Daniel: What did you say?

Eric: I asked if you want to go to the football game.

Daniel: Did I say yes?

Yup. He might have early onset alzheimers. Or be mentally impaired.

Church

Why is it that the family attending church together is such a nightmare? Isn't church supposed to be a time of quiet reflection. Where we worship our Lord and thank Him for our many blessings?

The problem is...my many "blessings" spend the entire hour whining, complaining, speaking at inappropriate volumes, asking to leave to go to the bathroom or get a drink, etc., etc. By the end of the hour (which is, admittedly, sometimes more like an hour and 20 minutes...as my children will readily point out), I am ready to kill someone!!!

Yesterday, however, was different. No, they didn't behave like angels. That would be too much...and would probably signal the end of the world or something. No, they weren't horrible either. They were actually making me laugh. (I know...also inappropriate church behavior, but much better than making me want to lock them in a closet)

The preacher was a young woman from our church who has been a missionary in Paraguay for about 5 years. She was preaching on the power of prayer. She told a story of praying with a woman who had one leg shorter than the other. She told how, while in prayer, the woman's leg straightened and she stood up! A miracle, right?

Well, Mark leaned over and loudly whispered in my ear, "I don't believe it." By the way, we were sitting in the front row! I cracked up! She then even went on to comment that she was sure that some of us were sitting there being skeptical, but that, yes, indeed she had witnessed it and it was a miracle. Proof of the healing power of prayer.

Then came the next question, which I knew would come. "Would that work for my eyes?" I said "Maybe. But you have to believe." And, his answer was,"Well, I don't". Upon further reflection, though, he leaned over and said, "Maybe I'll try it on Kevin first." Little bugger is afraid that since he doesn't believe enough that his prayer might screw up his vision even more. So, he'll test it on Kevin first!!!

Then, at the end of service, Daniel leans over just before the last song, where we all hold hands and unite to go out into the world and share God's word, and says, "We are almost to my favorite part...the leaving!" I lost it. I tried to tell Eric and couldn't even get it out I was laughing so hard. Nice! Here I thought he liked holding hands. Singing an uplifting song. Nope. He just can't wait to get out of there. At 5! His siblings have corrupted him too!

He's very observant...and he's gonna embarrass me someday

I went to drop off a tax return to a friend the other day and took Daniel with me. He wanted to come to the door and as soon as I stepped in, he B-lined to the basement to play with a few of Ryan's toys (Ryan is in Kindergarten, so was not at home -- so Daniel probably wanted to have a little time with a much coveted and highly guarded special toy of his).

When it was time to go and we got into the car, Daniel immediately announced "She has got to clean that house!".

Yikes! Thank God the car door was closed and we were driving away from the house!

Me: "What?"

Daniel: "Mrs. Walker needs to vacuum her carpets...or get some Oxyclean or something!"

Me: "Oxyclean?"

Daniel: "Yeah, I saw a commercial for it. It takes stains out of carpet and stuff." She needs to get some."

OK, so two comments:
1. Daniel hardly lives in a sterile environment. On most days, my mother would say my house is downright dirty. I like to call it messy -- or better yet "lived in." But my point is, I find it interesting that Daniel even noticed. I also find it comforting to visit houses that are in worse condition than mine. You know...everything is relative.

2. The kid needs a filter!!! One of these days he is not going to wait until we are away from the house and totally humiliate me! Not sure how to handle this, except to keep my fingers crossed and some duct tape in my purse.

OMG! She really is blonde!

Brooke and I took a walk today with Zoey. As we were walking we passed a dead end street with a sign "No outlet". Do you know what she asked me? You are never going to believe it. Remember now -- she is 14. A freshman in high school. Potentially going away to college in less than 4 years (I'm starting to re-think that plan). She actually asked me..."Why does that sign say no outlet? Those people have electricity, don't they?"

Yup!~ Kind of scary, isn't it. I've got a lot of work to do here to prepare her for the real world.

Where have I been?

Wow! March 17th was my last post. That is just not acceptable. I think I just had a case of the guilts (long lasting I might add) about all of the time that I was spending on the computer blogging. Maybe I thought I needed to get some chores done. Well, 7 months later, I still haven't committed to keeping my house clean or keeping up with laundry. So, I might as well get back to constructive procrastinating at the computer!

I'll get started with a cute little story that I shared with Daniel's preschool teacher this morning. I have lots of catching up to do, so I will have to tell many an old story along with the new for the next month or so.

Anyway, Daniel recently turned 5 and I had a small party for him with some friends. I asked him who from his new preschool class he wanted to invite. He said "Hunter, Connor and Michael." So, I said "How about a couple of girls" (I knew that Sara would be crushed if she knew that Daniel had had a party and not invited her). So, Sara, Krithe and Emma were added to the list. Now I don't know everyone in the class, but I know that Nicole is always friendly -- says "Hi Daniel" when he arrives and "Bye Daniel" when he leaves. So I asked "What about Nicole? Do you want to invite her to your party?" To which he responded "No way! She thinks she runs faster than me!"

So, that's it folks. The way to Daniel's heart (and birthday party) is to be humble -- and always acknowledge his obvious superiority!